A story of how Rachel and I talk.
Yesterday (10.16.18), my daughter Rachel who is 6 years old got into some trouble at her school. According to her, they were having some speed test/assignment thing that they were doing and when the teacher says stop they have to stop and see how many words they did. Well, it turns out that she didn’t stop and continued and ended up at the principal’s office. Now, overall she’s a great 6-year old that doesn’t get into trouble that frequently other than for not listening to her mom and occasional teenage attitude. But other than that she’s a really good well-behaved kid. I know I might be biased but others have told us this as well.
As she was growing up I started having one on one talks with probably when she was around maybe 4 years old. She calls it “The Talk”. Usually, when she misbehaves or really gets in trouble I sit her down in her room on her bed and try to have a little chat with her prior to a punishment or if it wasn’t a big issue then she gets off with a warning. I’m not sure where I got this idea from but the concept is to explain to the child what she did was wrong and why it was wrong and only then punishing him or her. What I didn’t realize would happen is that she wants to have these talks willingly anytime she gets into trouble with her mom or at school.
Back to the Story
Back to the story from yesterday. I come home and my wife quickly briefs me as to what happened prior to me having any conversations with her about school. My wife told me that she didn’t want to talk with her about it and said she’ll wait until Papa comes home. So after dinner as I was cleaning up I asked her “Rachel, How was your day at school?” Immediately, I could tell by how she was acting that something was wrong even though I already knew what it was. I pretended to be clueless and started asking for more details. At first, she was afraid because she kept on saying that she didn’t want to get in trouble. I reassured her that since she wanted to come to tell something I “didn’t” know about that I promised her I wasn’t going to punish her for it. After a few minutes of hesitations, she finally opened up. We talked for a little bit and ended up with that she will follow instructions and won’t cheat in school anymore.
In a weird way, it was a proud moment for me. She could have easily chosen not to tell me anything and wait until I found out and started to ask her about it. Instead, she wanted to open up to me and tell me her mistake even though it was difficult for her to let it out. Let me take a moment and encourage you guys to take the time and sit down with your child and listen to them. Take the time and let them tell you why they are frustrated with something. There are usually good reasons why kids act up sometimes whether it’s because they are tired and frustrated or lack some attention. It doesn’t always work out but give it your best effort. I really hope I can incorporate this same practice into my other two children as they get older.
What are some ways you get your kids to spill the beans? Let me know in the comments below.
Be Blessed,
Andy
Read My Other Blog Posts Here
- Fixing a doll’s head when your daughter isn’t happy with it.
- 5 Reasons Why I Decided to Start a Dad Blog